Ask the Doc- How did you manage your wedding with your lupus?

For anyone who has had a wedding, you know it can be a very busy and stressful time. I had my wedding on September 1, 2013. It was a beautiful day, but it took a lot of work getting there. I had nine months to plan my wedding which was in another state where my family lived. Believe me, there were multiple times when I thought the stress of it all would send me into a flare. Here are some tips on how I got through wedding planning and the big day.

First get organized. Make a list of the things you need to get done, divide them up, and schedule them. So today I will call florists and bakeries. Sunday I’ll go dress shopping. Monday, I’ll go check out some venues. Being able to put everything down on paper, and knowing when you are going to take care of each thing, makes life much easier. You want to avoid doing too much at once. Give yourself a few small tasks or one big task a day. The wedding magazines are really helpful in letting you know when certain things need to be done. Tackling things one at a time, will prevent you from burning out and help you stay right on track.

Delegate, delegate, delegate. I cannot stress this enough. Many hands make light work. I had a lot of help from my bridesmaids, mother, and sisters. So someone was in charge of making decorations, another mailing out invitations, then another checking out places for rehearsal dinner. Get the future hubby involved, it’s his wedding too! Having that kind of help is essential. Now, if you’ve got a little extra money, hiring a wedding planner is a great idea. Some venues wedding packages even come with one.

For a lot of people, dealing with family can add to the stress. Everyone has their opinion of how the wedding should be. My parents have some Indian traditions, and at some point I realized I couldn’t avoid them, even if they added to my costs. The best way to handle this is compromise. Remind then kindly that it is YOUR wedding, but you respect their wishes as well. These are the people you love, and this day is meaningful for them too. See if you can find a common ground. Fighting only causes unnecessary stress for everyone.

The day before the wedding is very important, and I highly recommend not having anything strenuous planned. If possible get things done two days before the wedding. The last thing you want to be doing is working right up to the wire. The day before is a good time to relax, spend time with the fam, or even get a massage/spa treatment. Make sure to get plenty of sleep the night before, eat a good breakfast the day of, and make sure there are snacks and water at hand in your dressing area.

When the big day comes, relax and just let go. Accept that every little detail might not be done, but it is going to be special.If you can, assign a close friend or family member to be in charge of resolving or deflecting any issues, so the only thing you have to focus on is you and your husband and the amazing new life you are committing to. Pace yourself, know your body, and know when to rest. It’s Ok to take a break during pictures or sit out a dance or two. ( BTW it helps if you bring a cute comfy pair of shoes for walking/dancing during reception). If you are drinking, pace yourself too. Alcohol does tend to hit people with lupus harder than other people, so keep in touch with how you are feeling, and save a little energy for your wedding night 🙂

Planning a wedding can be a strenuous thing, but it is totally worth it. It is such a joyous day of being able to share you and your husband’s commitment with the people you love. No matter what happens it will be perfect, because you are marrying the love of your life.

One thought on “Ask the Doc- How did you manage your wedding with your lupus?

  1. Thank you!
    We’ve been breaking things down slowly, I’ve learnt that there’s no point in trying to do everything at once and that everything should be done in steps. The big stuffs done, just printing the invitations, order of service and getting the dresses altered. We bought the rings today (yay!) and I think we’re going I make it.

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