The Right Time

I was at my cousin’s wedding this weekend, and my whole family was there, including my sister and her adorable one year old daughter.  I just got married in September,so everyone was asking when it would be my turn. I answered that we wanted kids but were waiting for the right time.

But when is the right time?

My husband is doing a two year fellowship at a hospital and is working crazy, long hours. He goes in at six thirty, and sometimes doesn’t get home til 10 or even later. He also works every other weekend. We don’t have close family here, so I’d be on my own. We figured we’d wait a couple years, when we could move closer to my family, but now I’m kinda rethinking my plan.

I’m going to be 32 in a couple months, and I’ll be 34 when my husband graduates. I know that I will have a high risk pregnancy because of the lupus and anti-phospholipid antibodies. Honestly, I don’t even know if I will be able to carry, but I’d rather not think about that right now. I’m worried that the longer I wait, the more the risk will increase.

But if I do wait we will have more help and be more financially stable. We will be close to family, so someone will be able to help me during the pregnancy and first few months. I’m also not sure how much I will be able to work during the pregnancy, and I definitely plan on taking the first few months after the baby is born off. My husbands salary will increase after he finishes residency so that will really help with medical bills, and if I’m unable to work.

I’m not sure when the right time is, but I definitely want to get prepared. I plan on seeing a high risk obstetrician to figure out a plan. I know that I may have to make changes to my medications even before I become pregnant. I don’t know when I’ll get pregnant, but when I do, I know it will be the right time.

3 thoughts on “The Right Time

  1. Honey, trust me when I say this… there is never a right time. Not now, not ever.

    Children are a frustrating, messy, LOUD, exasperating, exhausting, expensive, exhilirating, and amazing gifts from God. They will break your heart in beautiful ways, and make you love more than you ever thought possible.

    I’m mom to four and grandmother to seven. Not one of them came when the time was right. And not one of them has been anything but all I mentioned above.

    The only ‘timing’ you need to concentrate on is the time when both of you want to have children..and sounds to me like you are there…especially given your pre-existing medical issues…I’d say there’s no time like the present. 🙂

  2. Waiting has definite advantages. I was 29 when my first one came along, and 38 when the last arrived, and believe that I have been much more able to be patient with my kids than I would have been if I’d had kids when I was younger. I’m also better able to judge what’s important, and let the little things slide. Life experience has distinct advantages. Best of luck whatever you choose to do.

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