So I know I haven’t posted in a few months. It got busy with the holidays and then this cold NY winter has made me very unmotivated. But the weather is going to start warming up, and so am I.
This past month I was diagnosed with pleuritis for the second time . I developed shortness of breath and some chest tightness which progressively worsened over a couple weeks. I had to do some tests to rule out any blood clots in my lung and, thankfully none were found.
But now I am back on steroids, and boy do I feel it. Insomnia. Dry mouth.Agitation. Weight gain. And my lovely moon face. Now usually I become pretty discouraged about this, but I am going to try and be optimistic here. I’ve got a vacation planned to go to a Mexico in May, and I am going to try super hard to maintain my weight. I am looking into different diets not only to manage weight but also fluid retention. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to share.
I think my biggest concern is how people will see. Most people who know me, know I love to eat. I worry about them judging me, thinking that my round face and tummy is a product of my lack of self control. I worry about people at work noticing and being curious. Most times I can hide my illness, but right now I can’t . I feel embarrassed, and I worry about having to explain myself, which personally is worse because the last thing I want is for my job to know I have a chronic illness.
I see my doctor tomorrow and we are going to discuss taking Benlysta, the IV infusion drug. I am definitely apprehensive, but after months of worsening bloodwork, and this little flare, I’m thinking maybe it’s time. I will keep you posted and I ask for prayers as I get this figured out. I do believe that a God is the Master Healer, and this is completely in His hands.